Suicide Prevention Awareness Month: Talk Openly with Care

Quick Take

• Choose language that’s judgment and shame-free like “died by suicide” or “suicide loss survivor”
• Get to the heart of the matter and ask direct questions, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?”
• You don’t always have to know what to say, or how to say you care, showing up and listening is most important

It’s okay to talk about suicide. Conversations with peers, family and other trusted people can build connectedness, strengthen a sense of belonging and help to normalize talking about our mental health. Showing interest in someone else’s emotional well-being can help make space for honest conversations—including about thoughts of suicide—without shame of or judgment. Being here for each other, in whatever ways we can, is one way to make suicide prevention part of our day-to-day lives.

Talking openly with care, clarity and non-judgment

Judgement about mental health challenges can make it harder for people to reach out and talk about their thoughts and experiences. When we shift our words to be clear, direct and compassionate, we create space for open conversations.  
 

Use words that signal you care and let others know it’s okay to talk openly. Here are some word and phrase suggestions that help others know they can talk about what they’re feeling or experiencing:

• Reflect what you hear with phrases like “It sounds like you are feeling…”
• Ask open-ended questions to learn more about the other person’s experience
• Swap “committed suicide” for “died by suicide”  
• Swap “unsuccessful attempt” or “failed attempt” with “suicide attempt” 
• Swap “successful attempt” with “died by suicide”  

If you are looking for more examples of how to talk about suicide and support people who are struggling, check out the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  

“We’re here to support help seekers through regular bad days, so they don’t build up to the point of feeling like they can’t get through them anymore. No matter what your reason is, it is always good enough reason to reach out to a 988 counselor for support.” – Katie, 988 Counselor 

What to do when you’re worried about someone who might be thinking about suicide

Showing up in ways like listening, spending time with someone and learning about suicide can make a difference. Taking a training or reading more about how to create a safety plan can help be prepared to have tough conversations. You can also call, text or chat with 988 if you’re feeling concerned about a friend, family member or someone in your community. 

Leading with empathy and curiosity helps people know their feelings are valid.   

Everyone makes judgements sometimes, and it is helpful to listen for what that might sound like for you. For example, if someone is venting about something that is bothering them and you are thinking that is not a big deal, ask yourself why their perception may be different. We all have unique perspectives and experiences. Listening helps bring us closer together.  

Ask the question directly

Ask the hard questions directly, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” or “Are you thinking about suicide?” 

For some of us, this can feel really uncomfortable or even harsh. It’s okay to practice before talking with the person you’re concerned about. Direct questions make it clear what you want to know, and they can help show you care. 

Reach out to 988

If you are worried about someone and are not sure what to do, we can help. Reach out to 988 to talk more about your concerns for your loved ones. Trained counselors can help assess the situation, collaborate with you on how to talk to the person you’re concerned about and share how to create a safety plan.

“My loved one was having a mental health crisis and I did not know what to do or where to turn. 988 was an amazing resource for me. I got resources to help my loved one, got emotional support for myself, and by the end of the call I felt much more confident that everything would be okay.” – 988 Help Seeker 

What to do if you are thinking about suicide 

It can be hard to talk with others about suicidal thoughts. People may have many different feelings or concerns about reaching out. Talking with someone you trust or contacting 988 can help you feel supported and less alone. 

If you’re not sure what to say when you reach out to 988 that’s okay. You don’t have to know exactly what to say. You can be direct, or you can start small if talking about everything all at once feels like too much.  These prompts may be helpful if you call, text or chat with 988:  

• “I’ve been having a hard time and need some extra support.”  
• “Are you available for a 10-minute chat? I need to talk.”   
• “I’m in a dark place right now and could really use some help staying safe.”  
• “I’ve been having thoughts about suicide recently and I need some support getting through them.”  

Whether we’re supporting each other or looking for help for ourselves, knowing we can talk openly about suicide reminds us we’re not alone—no matter what we might be feeling or experiencing. We’re here for you 24/7. Call or text 988 or chat with us at Chat.988Lifeline.org. If you’d like to talk with a peer try Teen Link or Warm Line every day in the afternoon and evening.